


blueish love (synergy between you and me)

by chocchipkookie



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Aftercare, Anal Fingering, Asphyxiation, Blow Jobs, Breathplay, Choking, Cock Warming, Consensual Sex, Conversations, Crying, Dirty Talk, Doggy Style, Dom Jung Wooyoung, Dom/sub, Explicit Sexual Content, Finger Sucking, Fluff and Smut, Getting Together, Hand Jobs, Humiliation, Kink Negotiation, Kissing, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Masochism, Masturbation, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Nipple Play, Pining, Praise Kink, Sadism, Shower Sex, Slut Shaming, Spanking, Sub Choi San, Sub Park Seonghwa, Teasing, Threesome - M/M/M, Tickling, Verbal Humiliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:53:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26205982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocchipkookie/pseuds/chocchipkookie
Summary: first chapter: woosan, woosanhwasecond chapter: woosanhwa, seongjoongWooyoung doesn't remember the moment when everything clicks together — no, this part of his being didn't reveal itself as some sort of divine epiphany, a bolt of lightning striking the ground and obliterating with pure, electric energy. No, it resembles more or less accumulating thunder, growling and rumbling clouds deep in his loins that build slowly to a crescendo."So," San speaks up again, "Stop holding back. I'm serious, Youngie."To his credit, San releases a monster.
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Choi San/Jung Wooyoung/Park Seonghwa, Choi San/Park Seonghwa, Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 48
Kudos: 361





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> !!! hELLO!!!  
> this started out as a drabble inspired by cas's (whiskybusiness) tweet about sadist top woo. and it turned into this 5k mess that took me a week to write pHEW  
> it's quite explicit and was quite the experience for me to write because i really wanted to explore dom woo dynamics of him being kinda sadistic but also a soft boi for his babies. be mindful of the tags, altho imo this turned out a bit softer than expected >:) i appreciate your kudos and comments immensely, so pls dont be shy and comment your thoughts/reactions !! uwu~ <3 
> 
> if you feel like i've missed anything, pls tell me! other than that, i hope you enjoy! :3c

Wooyoung doesn't remember the moment when everything clicks together — no, _this_ part of his being didn't reveal itself as some sort of divine epiphany, a bolt of lightning striking the ground and obliterating with pure, electric energy. No, it resembles more or less accumulating thunder, growling and rumbling clouds deep in his loins that build slowly to a crescendo.

San's wearing a freshly washed tank today, one that used to be so big and stiff around his smaller body when he first got it around two years ago. The fabric's now soft and worn out, faded and tight around the bulging muscles of his chest and arms. Said fabric quickly gets wrinkled and rumpled underneath Wooyoung's dexterous fingers. 

"S-stop, _ha_ — Wooy-youngie!" San scream-laughs when said fingers find the most sensitive spot between the end of his ribcage and his hip bone. "Let me go — _ah!"_

"Hm…" Wooyoung hums, pretending to give San's pleas some thought. He wiggles his ass on top of San's tummy where he's perched comfortably, thighs tight around his sides. He's got him pinned on the floor of San and Yunho's room. "No!" he giggles, and dives in for another tickle fit. 

It usually goes like this — San and Wooyoung will agree to hang out together in peace, watch something or figure out who's on laundry duty. Then one thing leads to another and soon they've got their hands all over each other, as if they'll perish if they go without physical contact for more than three hours. Touch is comfort for them — when Wooyoung passes his arms around San's waist in silence and keeps them there. When San plays with the cute bracelets the stylists put on Wooyoung for their live performances. A pat on the thigh during long rides to and from the studio. Head pets in the morning as they blindly stumble into the kitchen for some milk at whatever god-forsaken hour they need to get up. Touching is comfort, and teasing, and love. 

But, back to the present, where San is being _extremely_ fucking loud. 

"N-no, Wooyoungie!" he laughs hysterically, mouth stretched open wide to a sort of maniacal grin, legs thrashing against the carpet while Wooyoung continues to torture his sides with his hands, "It's t-too m-much, too much, too much, you— _gah!"_ and he melts into gurgling laughter again, high-pitched to the point of ear-piercing, his eyes crinkling like a fox. 

And there's that familiar warmth in Wooyoung's belly, one that doesn't feel like a fresh cup of tea but rather like a splash of hot oil on his palm, a continuous shock that makes it difficult to do anything other than stare at how marvelously frustrated San looks underneath him. Knowing that San is relatively stronger than him only simmers this burning fire; they both work out these days, hours spent in the gym, but whereas Wooyoung will inevitably get distracted, San's arms have been exponentially growing for months now, these big fucking arms — they're strong, is the thing. San is strong, and he could easily overturn them and pin Wooyoung to the floor with his equally big thighs and reach into his armpits and tickle him until he cries. 

But he doesn't. 

Instead, San wiggles underneath him and laughs and whines his name and just keeps screaming. 

Mingi's room is right next to them — poor dude had announced that he needed to catch up on studying and had politely closed the door behind him. And obviously, Wooyoung's thinking of Mingi, about how he doesn't want to disturb his studious bandmate, really, he's doing this for Mingi, when he cups his palm over San's mouth and nose and kinda chokes him. 

"Shut it." 

San's eyebrows curl upwards with a theatrical flare of momentary fear and wonder — his expression, even if it lasts only a second, is forever etched in Wooyoung's brain from that point on. His cock twitches involuntarily. 

Underneath Wooyoung's palm, San whimpers. Testing the waters, he leans down, clenching his jaw, and whispers, "You gotta be quiet, San-ah." He uses his other hand to tickle San's hipbone. 

Immediately, the other's muffled screaming begins again, but the more he thrashes around, the tighter Wooyoung holds onto him, covering his mouth and only allowing him to take desperate gulps of air through his fingers, tears gathering at the corners of his eyes. Wooyoung's hand feels almost numb, over San's mouth, it doesn't even feel like it's part of his body anymore — until San's tongue peeks out and gives his palm a tentative lick, reminding him that he still has skin. It sneaks through his fingers, until he lets two of them slip in between his teeth. 

"Sannie…" Wooyoung doesn't understand why San won't turn them around and get the upper hand. This doesn't feel like their typical play-fighting that makes their knuckles turn red and their bellies hurt from laughing; this is different, teetering into dangerous but tempting territory. San hasn't moved his hands from the carpet the entire time, where they rest, _untied_ , over his head. "What are we doing?" he can't help but ask. 

He doesn't question their intimacy, which has been validated time and time again; Wooyoung knows exactly how soft San's lips are (and how they're even softer when he remembers to wear lip balm), he knows how his cock tastes in the shower while the water is running hot against his back and San's fingers curl around his ears, he knows that San enjoys having his wrists held while they spoon and grind until they come into their boxers. Intimacy is nothing new, but _this_ — San letting Wooyoung push and push without stopping him… 

He needs to take a step back. 

He knows he can count on his Sannie for everything, though, "I don't know." San replies earnestly. Wooyoung takes his hand out of his mouth and places it carefully around his cheek, and San's lips turn into that specific pout they make when he's trying to articulate his thoughts, "You look like you enjoy it." 

"I mean, yeah. But, do you?" 

"Immensely!" 

"Huh." 

San cracks a smile that quells the brewing storm in Wooyoung's stomach a little, "I thought we both knew that I like it when you're rough." 

"Correct. But this feels—" 

"Different." 

"Mm." 

"How so?" San takes Wooyoung's hands in his, threading their fingers together. They begin to mindlessly pull and push back and forth with their arms in the gentlest manner, as if this continuous motion will propel Wooyoung's cluster fuck of emotions into articulate thoughts. He knows San is looking at him, waiting for an explanation of the shame that's brewing inside of him, but Wooyoung can't quite meet his gaze right now, so he opts for staring around the room. He never realized how the walls aren't actually white, but a yellowy, cream color — "Yah!" San digs his knee into his butt, "Don't ignore me," he pulls on their joint hands so that Wooyoung falls less that gracefully on top of his chest, catching his lips into a short kiss. 

"'M not…" Wooyoung sighs, "I feel like—" 

"You know how you look at me?" San cuts him off. 

"Sannie, you gotta let me finish if you wanna know what I'm thinking," San's gaze makes him sigh again, "Okay, how do I look at you?" 

"When you had your hands over my mouth," San explains, and fuck, just the mention of those words stringed together in a sentence shouldn't make Wooyoung's cock twitch that easily, "You look at me like you expect me to sit and take it while you keep pushing. You enjoy seeing me in pain." 

"That sounds… really bad when you put it that way." 

"Everyone has things that excite them, Wooyoungie. And I like it when you become a little bit… unhinged." 

"I do not—" 

"Yes you do. You wanna make it hurt for me? Put me in my place and make me take hit after hit while I cry in your lap?" San's voice turns gruff and low, and Wooyoung's head is swimming in arousal, cock hardening once again in his loose shirts, fingers itching to get his hands around San's throat and squeeze until he's gasping for air, tongue lolling out in a silent plea for Wooyoung to have mercy on him and let him come. 

He settles for a light smack on San's chest instead. He doesn't miss the way San jerks at that, tiniest whine swallowed quickly in the back of his throat. 

"So," San speaks up again, "Stop holding back. I'm serious, Youngie." 

To his credit, San releases a _monster._

"Whoever wants to take a shower should do it now because I'll be occupying the bathroom for a while soon," Hongjoong warns as he storms in the kitchen of their apartment, dumping his bag on the counter. The sun has set and it has been raining all day, distant thunder echoing through the slightly open windows because of the humidity. Seonghwa sits cross-legged on the floor on his fitness mat, stretching his arms next to Mingi, the two of them making small talk in between exercising. San has just finished his workout, sticky sweat clinging onto his skin — he smells like he desperately needs a bath. He tells Hongjoong that he's heading for the shower and his hyung nods absentmindedly, checking out the fridge for something to snack on. 

San immediately makes a beeline for Wooyoung's room. He pokes his head through the door and sees Yeosang taking a nap with his headphones on, while Wooyoung is sorting through his laundry. 

Without saying anything, Wooyoung looks up. "Hongjoong's gonna use the shower in a bit," at Wooyoung's raised brow, San calculates, "We have about… twenty minutes." 

Heat pools in Wooyoung's lower tummy. He takes one look at Yeosang and carefully gets up from his bed, tip-toeing like a cat towards San. Together, they move as silently as they can towards the bathroom at the end of the hallway. With the way their apartment is laid out, it's a good thing that they don't have to walk through the common areas to get there. 

Ever since that day two weeks ago, Wooyoung has had a hard time… containing himself. It's San's fault. It absolutely is. 

And Wooyoung is having way too much fun with it. He knows San will tell him when it's too much, but San has always been known for his resilience and patience in various other sectors, so it's not a surprise when they find out that he also has a high pain tolerance and will rather bite on the pillow until a bucket of spit soaks through it until he tells Wooyoung to slow down with the slaps on his ass. 

With their tight schedule and hectic reality in their dorms, they don't get much alone time. Wooyoung doesn't particularly mind — teasing and poking at San in public is a delicacy on its own, watching the way San squirms on the ride back home while Wooyoung plays with the hair elastic around his arm, pulling it until it snaps back against his skin while it gets redder and redder by the second. 

Alas, showers are the easiest way for them to hook up while everyone else is in the dorms. Wooyoung's pretty sure everyone has kissed everyone at this point, but he also respects Hongjoong's wishes of not letting their horniness interfere with their daily lives — yet Hongjoong takes up almost an hour every other day fingering himself in the shower while everyone else has to hold it or go downstairs at the public bathrooms of the building. Wooyoung would honestly be glad to give him a hand (or anything else, really) so that their leader doesn't monopolize the bathroom, but — that's not the point right now, Wooyoung snaps out of his thoughts as he locks the door behind them. 

He turns and _fuck_ — San's already naked, clothes tossed on the floor in a messy pile near the garbage can. 

Silently, Wooyoung walks to the shower cubicle and grabs the shower head, turning it on on the highest setting, steaming water gushing out immediately. He props it up against the wall and promptly takes of his clothes, knowing that San's eyes are not leaving his body for even a second. Not even when he gets in and sighs at the hot water soaking his hair and running down his shoulders. His aching muscles sing at the perfect pressure. 

San hasn't moved. Wooyoung clicks his tongue. 

"On your knees." 

His heart skips a beat at the way San almost trips over his feet before he settles on his knees in front of Wooyoung. The shower is naturally small as fuck, and with two people inside it's a tight fit. San keeps his hands on his thighs, shoulders big and square, back straight. Just like Wooyoung's trained him to. 

Wooyoung runs a hand through his hair. "Get my cock in your mouth." The running water is loud enough so that no one outside will hear them, but San can understand him perfectly. He leans closer and opens his perfectly plump lips, mouthing around the head before wrapping them around his soft cock, keeping it in his mouth with a satisfied sigh. That's where it'll stay as it gets hard, Wooyoung's decided, and San looks delighted with that decision, judging from the way his own cock is hardening. 

From that point on, Wooyoung ignores him as if San isn't even there — he lathers his hair with his favorite shampoo, then conditions it, then runs some smoothing hair oil their stylist recommended to him through the ends. While that soaks, he passes foamy shower gel over his waxed armpits, rests his hands for a tad too long over his chest and passes down to his torso. He's fully hard now, the warmth of San's mouth around him is really something else, and the way his tongue twitches on the underside of his cock every now and then, and the soft pulse of San's throat as he swallows excess spit from time to time — it's _heaven._

He grabs a fistful of dark hair and chokes San on his cock, until his nose is snuggled against his neatly trimmed pubic hair, "You're staying here," he tells him, and San makes a garbled response of agreement. 

He shampoos San's hair with equal care, massaging his scalp and temples so that San relaxes his throat around him. At this point, he has been steadily breathing through his nose, cock settled at the back of his throat and mouth so full that there's spit gathering at the corners, threatening to run down his chin. 

It's been too calm for too long, Wooyoung thinks, and makes sure he holds onto San's hair with a tight hold when he begins to fuck his throat. 

He's thankful for how loud the water is because no one can (probably) hear the loud moan he lets out while San is taking his cock, or the way San is whining out garbled nonsense while his throat is being used. Desperate hands hold onto the meatiest part of Wooyoung's thighs while he pushes him cock time and time again into that delicious, tight warmth, so viciously good that his cock head is starting to get overstimulated. And San is just taking it, letting Wooyoung use him as if he's nothing more than a hole, nothing more than a sex toy to get him to come and then toss him to the side. 

They're both wet and covered in soap and shampoo and sweat but San looks positively obscene, eyes rolling back with how much he loves being on his knees for his Wooyoung. And suddenly, Wooyoung wants someone to storm in, take a good look at how San is letting him use his body and take his pleasure from him, what a filthy fucking slut he's being. 

He tells San those things and so much more, mouth spitting filth after filth in the meanest way possible, in the way that he knows San will feel ashamed and dirty and so fucking horny that he squirms his thighs, desperate for some friction on his own cock. 

Something curls inside his tummy and he pulls San off his cock quickly, chuckling at the way his mouth remains open after getting used to being stretched out. A passing image of his hole like that almost makes Wooyoung pass out, "Gonna come on your face," he chokes out and fists his cock, pulling San's jaw with his other hand so that he stays right in front of the head, mouth open to catch his cum, "Open up like a good boy for me." 

As San unhinges his jaw to an impossible degree, Wooyoung lets his hand trail down further until his fingers wrap around the tenderness of his throat and squeezes, and paints San's deliciously shocked face white with his cum. 

They get out of the shower once they've both cleaned up and Hongjoong rushes past them with a pissed off, needy expression that fools no one about what he's planning to do as he locks the door. Yunho still hasn't come home from his vocal practice, so Wooyoung leads them there, missing how Seonghwa's gaze is fixed on them until they close the door. 

He makes San get on his hands and knees on his bed and gives him the pillow to bite on and muffle his moans while he strokes the hard, dangling cock between his legs, a finger pushing into his clean hole just enough to make San cream his hand and cry out muffled pleas into the fabric while Wooyoung tells him what a good boy he is. 

"Always feels like I'm floating when you're done with me…" San murmurs while Wooyoung cleans him up, passing tissue paper carefully over his abs and his own hand. His eyes are closed and there's a blissful smile on his lips. 

"'M glad," Wooyoung says fondly, "Knees hurt?" 

"Just a bit," San admits. He giggles at how the small kisses feel on the red skin on his legs. 

Thankfully, when Yunho gets back, the two of them are already dressed in their pajamas. It's nearing midnight now and half of the members have fallen asleep, or are about to do so. Wooyoung lingers in the kitchen for a moment, cleaning up a few leftover dirty dishes from tonight's dinner. To no one's surprise, Seonghwa is up as well, right out of his own shower. 

"Did you take a shower with San tonight?" 

_Ah._ Questions, questions, questions. 

"Mm," Wooyoung agrees, "Did you want to join?" 

"We wouldn't fit." 

"That doesn't answer my question." 

He turns to look at him, and Seonghwa's big, bulging eyes don't meet his gaze, "Look, I'm not stupid, and I have ears. You two can do what you want, but be careful. No marks —" 

"No _visible_ marks." 

"And don't take over the bathroom for an hour again," Seonghwa schools his features into a gentle scold, "You made Hongjoongie wait and he was very upset." 

"He gets like that when he's horny, why didn't you just help him out?" Wooyoung teases him and revels in the peachy blush that suffuses his cheeks, "Oh don't tell me you haven't told him yet, hyung." Seonghwa crosses his hands and doesn't say a word, " _Oh come on_ , you know he loves you." 

"I—I haven't had the time, and I don't want to bother him when he's tired." 

"I'm pretty sure he'd be delighted to get something up his ass other his own fingers." 

"It's not about that!" Seonghwa blushes, but lets Wooyoung wrap his arms around him in a hug, "Besides, I'm not sure I can give him what he wants." 

"Who wouldn't want our Seonghwa-hyung?" Wooyoung wonders playfully, "Whoever that is, they're a real fucking asshole. But Hongjoongie loves you," he pokes Seonghwa's cheek, a pout forming on his lips. He just loves how disgruntled Seonghwa looks whenever he teases him but then proceeds to stay and get teased over and over again. 

"'M not saying that he doesn't love me, I'm very lovable, thank you. It's just…" 

"Have you two had sex, hyung?" 

A gulp, "No." 

"Made out?" 

"Once." 

"And?" 

"We were kind of… drunk. During the tour, one night in London—" 

"How cinematic." 

"But I don't think — I don't think I can um… I'm not sure I am what he wants." 

Wooyoung looks at him with a face of utter disbelief, "I'm sorry, what the fuck does that even mean. Is this about the actual sex because you cannot convince me that Hongjoong is that stupid — _oh,_ it's about the sex," Seonghwa's silence basically confirms his suspicions. "So, did you come here to scold me for getting my dick sucked in the bathroom, or did you come to me for advice?" 

"Wooyoung…" Seonghwa whines, and oh, this is new. He's embarrassed. Ashamed. His cheeks are flushed and his ears are positively red. He can't meet his eyes, opting to hide his face in Wooyoung's neck in their hug. "I'm not stupid," he repeats. 

"I never said that." 

"I know what you and San are up to." 

"We're not exactly hiding it." 

"I mean the dynamics of your relationship. The way you take care of him…" he trails off, but Wooyoung's not listening. He gets it now, what Seonghwa really wants, what he's too shy to ask of Hongjoong since they're not in that stage in their relationship. Hell, they've kissed once, from what Wooyoung has gathered, and even though they share the same room and hug each other all the time, there's other conversations to be had before Seonghwa can be honest about his desires. 

And of course Wooyoung feels smug that his hyung came to him for help. And he loves him. That helps, too. "Seonghwa…" he says in a reassuring tone. He gets a hand around his cheek, and his heart flutters at how his hyung curls towards the touch, eyes glassy, "I'll tell San about it, and next time, I'm going to take care of you both." 

They hug for a bit and Seonghwa goes to his shared room with Hongjoong with a significantly lighter skip to his step. Before Wooyoung goes to his own room, he makes a detour for Yunho and San's and knocks on the door before he opens it. Of course, both of them are awake, headsets on in their respective desks, playing online games even though they have to wake up in (he checks the wall clock) 6 hours. 

Yunho shoots him a cute smile before getting immersed back into the game. Wooyoung gets around their set up until he's behind San, wrapping his arms around him and San takes his headphones off, holding onto Wooyoung. He whispers in his ear about Seonghwa joining them next time they have time to themselves and giggles at the keyboard smash San does as a reaction. With a kiss on San's cheek and a ruffle on Yunho's fresh pink hair, he leaves the room and goes to bed. 

The next time happens to be almost two weeks later, with how hectic their comeback schedule is. It's difficult enough to get a day off, let alone a day off _and_ a mostly empty apartment where no person of interest will interfere. Thankfully, Hongjoong is out as usual to his studio and will stay there all day, Mingi is out with Yeosang collaborating with a brand for Instagram content, Jongho has vocal practice and Yunho is out for brunch and shopping with his cousin. The apartment is theirs for the time being, and they've made themselves comfortable. 

Well, Wooyoung has. He's sitting on their living room couch that fits all eight of them and is incredibly comfortable and soft. And he's the only one currently occupying it, because Seonghwa and San are settled on their knees on the floor in front of him, as they should. 

"Good boy," he tells Seonghwa, who can't really reply, because he's got a mouth full of Wooyoung's cock, his fat lips stretched and pursing together whenever it gets too much, but he doesn't pull off. It's clear that Seonghwa doesn't have any experience, but he wants to learn, or else he wouldn't be trusting Wooyoung like this. "Ah, ah, be careful of the teeth," he hisses when Seonghwa gets a bit sluggish and lets his teeth scrape over the head. A hand comes down and clamps on Seonghwa's pretty nose. His eyes bulge out, but he stays there, a determined arch in his brow. Wooyoung is about to praise him but he gets distracted by San aggressively humping his leg, "Sannie…" his tone is a warning. 

San has been instructed to keep his head on Wooyoung's thigh as Wooyoung feeds Seonghwa his cock, and he has been a good boy for a while now, but his patience is running thin and his cock is hard against Wooyoung's calf that's being humped at the moment. "Are you that much of a slut that you only think of your own pleasure?" and to his surprise, it's not only San who groans at his words but also Seonghwa, the vibrations of his moans feeling delicious on his cock. He grabs San's jaw and drags him closer, until San gets up and straddles his thigh on the couch. 

Wooyoung's head reaches San's chest like this. With one hand, he brings up the hem of San's shirt to San's mouth, pushing the fabric into it and silently instructing him to keep it there. With the hand that's not pushing at Seonghwa's cheek to feel his cock in his hyung's mouth, he begins toying with San's nipple, aggressively twisting it and pulling on it, "Hnngff…" San huffs through the fabric, jerking at the sensation of getting his chest played with. 

"Quiet," he tells him and San complies with minimal whining, allowing Wooyoung's attention to turn to Seonghwa, "Our hyung takes cock so well, doesn't he Sannie?" and San's been trained well, because he doesn't dare make a sound, "If only Hongjoongie-hyung could see you like this, on your knees for me, unable to utter a word with how you're choking on it." He pushes Seonghwa off to give him a break, but lets him suck on his fingers. 

"Do you think he'd let you fuck him?" San giggles in delight at that. He loves when Wooyoung starts talking filth, even if it isn't directed at him. "Will Hongjoong even give your cock any attention or will he just ride you until he comes and leave you waiting for _days_ even without coming? You're so desperate, you'd even sit there and watch him finger himself without him ever sparing you a glance, so filthy, our _filthy_ little Seonghwa —" 

And Wooyoung hasn't been giving his hyung all of his attention during this, because most of the filth is uttered through gritted teeth suckling and biting on San's chest, but his hand isn't in Seonghwa's mouth anymore and — 

Seonghwa's _crying._

He's panting with his mouth wide open, brows furrowed and tears running down his cheeks and chest heaving up and down and he looks every bit ruined and Wooyoung wants to eat him whole, because Seonghwa is a crier in every part of his life, _of course_ he'd be a crier in bed with the slightest push. He's so hard he sees static, but he gathers every bit of self-restraint and leans over to where Seonghwa is sobbing against his knee, gathering his face with both of his hands and making him look up at him, pearl-like tear drops gathering on his long, curved lashes. 

"Seonghwa," he whispers gently, "Hey, you okay? Was it too much, we can take a break." He feels San lean closer to their hyung, a comforting hand on his head. 

"Hyung?" says San in a soft, pouty voice. 

"'M good," Seonghwa's voice trembles, but he's not sobbing anymore, only stray tears escaping his eyes, "I—I, it's good. Really. I like this so m-much, want that so much it's — o-overwhelming," he explains, and Wooyoung understands. San is the type of person who doesn't break easily, who will hold on while Wooyoung pushes more and more, he just loves being his good, strong boy. 

But Seonghwa is a little different, and that's perfectly okay. It's cathartic for him to fall apart and get put back together again, and Wooyoung will do that for him because he'd do _anything_ for him, but he does understand Seonghwa's hesitation to be open about this to Hongjoong, especially if he's less than experienced himself. 

"You'll always tell me if it gets too much, though," Wooyoung reminds him, and Seonghwa reassures him that he will. 

Him and San are cuddling now, with San pressing kisses all over Seonghwa's face while their hyung calms down. 

Ten minutes of a cuddle pile later and Seonghwa is now on his lap with his back to Wooyoung's front, legs bent towards his chest and hands over his head, clutching at Wooyoung's shoulders at a desperate angle while San fingers him open, lube squelching and making filthy noises that Seonghwa manages to drown out with his whimpers and moans. San starts fucking him with his middle finger and jerking him off with his other hand, while Wooyoung is playing with Seonghwa's nipples with both of his hands, gently scraping his teeth over his neck because he's not supposed to leave any marks (even though he'd love to, even just for Hongjoong to inspect them curiously when he gets back. Alas, they'll have time for that in the future). 

"C-close, 'm close," he tells the two of them, and how couldn't he be? He's so overstimulated from every possible angle that Wooyoung's wondering how he has lasted this long. He's crying again, literally sobbing with pleasure and stretching his legs open so that San reaches the innermost parts if his insides, and San is glad to put his mouth to good use, pleasuring his hyung and bringing him closer to the edge. 

"Sannie's licking you so good, isn't he?" and all Seonghwa can do is moan through his tears, "You're a mess, a crying, needy mess, hyung. Hongjoong is gonna have so much fun absolutely ruining you when he founds out what a perfect slut you're going to be for him." 

Seonghwa comes so hard he can't keep his eyes open, tears leaking like faucets down his cheeks, and he comes with Hongjoong's name on his lips while San swallows him down, groaning on his cock when Seonghwa accidentally shoves his cock a tad too deep down his throat. 

He lets Seonghwa settle on his side on the couch and instantly feels him cuddle into his neck, a hand tentatively wrapping around his cock, "H-hey—" 

"Wanna," Seonghwa insists, erratically jerking him off but Wooyoung is so turned on and hard and leaking that it won't take long for him to orgasm. Seonghwa sniffles and smiles a bit, "Wanna th-thank you for training me to be good for your hyung," and his tone makes it clear that he knows his words go straight to Wooyoung's cock. 

"You _fucking_ —" Wooyoung gasps before his cock starts spurting out cum, orgasm washing over him in the most delightful, body-wrecking way possible. "S-sannie!" he whines when San puts his lips over his extremely sensitive head, licking up the excess cum with a satisfying grin. 

"Just being good," San says breathlessly, "And I uh, I already came." he gestures to his untouched cock and the glistening sheen of cum all over it and his lower abs. 

Wooyoung's chest heaves with a laugh and he lets his body rest against the couch for a moment. He didn't underestimate his abilities, but handling both San and Seonghwa was a bit too much. He'd do it again in a heartbeat, though. 

They clean up, shower without any sexual activities taking place and put on the comfiest pajamas to sit on the couch again and watch some TV. The rain sounds heavy outside and most of their band mates have gotten back from their schedules to take refuge in the warm apartment. There's a delicious smell wafting from the kitchen of Seonghwa and Yeosang heating up dinner when Hongjoong finally comes home, slightly wet from the rain with sweat accumulating all over his temples. He's holding two bags from the boba tea place ten minutes from their house and another, smaller paper bag from a pastry shop. 

"Hyung brought us drinks!" Jongho claps his hands, "And you remembered my order! Thank you, hyung!" 

"I remember all of your orders," Hongjoong huffs, handing each member their respective boba. 

"What's that?" Wooyoung raises his brow at the pastry shop bag. 

"Ah, that's…" Hongjoong sheepishly takes a small, carton box out of it. He passes it towards Seonghwa, who looks extremely collected and nothing like the ruined mess he was a few hours ago. "That's for Seonghwa only." 

"Oh my," San exclaims, a knowing smile on his lips, "What's the occasion?" 

"It's strawberry cream tarte," Hongjoong pointedly ignores them, talking softly to Seonghwa, who continues to look collected but his nearly blank expression tells Wooyoung that he's having an inner meltdown. "Wanted to thank you for the cabinet your bought me. And for being an amazing roommate." 

Okay, there's progress, Wooyoung thinks as he regards them with a fond smile. Important thing is, Seonghwa knows he can come to him if he needs anything, but he seems all good for now. So Wooyoung's going to leave this one to the elders to figure out and instead opts to sit next to San while the eight of them are having dinner and catching up, a hand underneath the table holding onto San's meaty thigh that's not covered by his shorts. 

"Next time, let's ask Mingi to join," San whispers in his ear before taking a bite with a smug grin, leaving Wooyoung to beg for a glass of water as he chokes. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the sequel in which seongjoong finally get their shit together!! i decided to post the next installments as chapters, since they all take place in the same verse, so i hope you enjoyed the first chapter and if you haven't and you've just stumbled upon this, take your time and read it uwu! comments and kudos are highly appreciated, so please don't feel shy because i actually love nothing more than reading your thoughts and reactions! 
> 
> i really hope you enjoy this and i love and appreciate all of you so, so much!! :3c <33

Similarly to most things in his life, this whole arrangement goes well — until it doesn't. Of course, Seonghwa remains partially oblivious to the impending downfall of his personal life; the underlying anxiety, however, has always been there. As the eldest in the group, worrying about the smallest things has become second nature by now. With comeback promotions in full swing, he often feels like his mind can't catch a break, too crowded with thoughts that keep him restless even when he's too exhausted to move. 

Such being the case, there's only one thing he can do to let loose. 

"We really shouldn't be doing this in here…" he murmurs, mostly to himself, as Wooyoung locks the door behind them and pushes his back against it, eyes heavy with the promise of something that Seonghwa can't quite place. For now. 

"No one's left behind," San assures him and wraps his arms around Seonghwa's shoulder from behind, like some sort of cartoonish imp, pushing him towards temptation. "I told the Manager to come get us in an hour." 

"You're making our Manager work overtime because you can't keep it in your pants, Sannie," Wooyoung's voice sounds hushed but laced with excitement, squeaks escaping the back of his throat. Seonghwa scrambles to switch on the lights of the storage room they've currently locked themselves in, but he's pretty sure the room could be illuminated from the gleam in Wooyoung's eyes alone — his gaze is a thorn that Seonghwa can't help but push his finger into, itching to see the blood rise to the surface. 

"You're the one who rushed to send everyone home so that the three of us could 'practice a cover'," San insists, flailing about his arms in a theatrical manner. 

"And you're the one who kept begging me to drag you into the storage room and 'fuck your brains out'." 

"Hey—" Seonghwa tries to intercept, but his two bandmates have already gotten into that mood where they zone everyone else out apart from the two of them to bicker and tease each other. They haven't paid much attention to him all day; his cock stiffens up despite any attempts of restraint. 

"You know how Yeosang was looking at you?" Wooyoung continues to taunt and San begins to visibly fall into a fluffy, hazy cloud, eyes growing lazy and seemingly sleepy. "He kept on asking me if you were gonna sit on my cock like a good boy, or if you're gonna bend over like a slut," and San whimpers so loudly at those words that it almost sounds like a howl. 

Seonghwa knows that Wooyoung hasn't told anyone about this arrangement, because all three promised to keep it a secret. And San knows about that too, and Yeosang isn't one to use such filthy words about his bandmates (at least not in front of them). Except this made-up story, however fake it is, goes straight to San's cock, eyes bulging out, leaving him breathless just at the thought of someone else witnessing how desperate he is for Wooyoung. 

"Come here," Wooyoung commands lazily, sitting down on the stiff gym mattress on the floor. He doesn't have to specify to whom he's referring to — they both scramble to comply. Seonghwa winces when his knees touch the plastic; this is what they get for being horny and sneaking away to fuck. 

"'M all prepped." San clarifies. He whimpers when Wooyoung grabs his jaw into his palm, grounding him. 

"I know Sannie," he says and turns to Seonghwa, "But our hung was exceptionally polite with his request, so you'll sit nice and pretty like the doll you are and let Seonghwa-hyung use his fingers in you." 

_"I feel so… everything's too much sometimes, you know?" Seonghwa had begun explaining a couple of nights ago, sitting with his two bandmates in his room while Hongjoong was away — a complete mess of stuttered and fumbled words while he held his knees to his chest and looked at his cream-colored, bunny-patterned socks. San and Wooyoung had remained silent, holding onto each of his hands and caressing the skin tenderly. This simple touch shouldn't have felt so electric, but Seonghwa was so starved for it. "I don't want to think. I-I want to switch off the uhm… the part of my brain that has to take decisions and stresses about every single thing—"_

_"I think you want someone to fuck your brains out, hyung." Wooyoung had concluded. "No need to be scientific about it."_

_"B-but it's not only that!" Seonghwa had insisted._

_"Then tell us," San had encouraged him, cuddling into his chest and almost purring with happiness when he could finally place his cheek in the crevice of Seonghwa's chest._

_"I don't… it's not just about me getting f-fucked. Just. Someone to make me do something, anything, so I can focus on that instead of anything else." He just wants his mind to feel empty, work on auto-pilot. He sometimes gets that feeling when he works out, through the repetitive, continuous moving and straining of his muscles that gets him into this haze, only he knows it's still not enough. He longs for that so strongly it hurts. But, in Seonghwa's mind, that is asking for too much._

_"I wanna do that," Wooyoung had told him, expression honest and fond and God, doesn't it feel embarrassing to have his junior coddle him this way, pinching his cheeks and ruffling his hair, "I want to make you feel good, hyung."_

_"Me too!" San had piped in, playing with the hem of Seonghwa's pajamas, "So tell us—"_

_"Ask politely," Wooyoung had corrected San, and both him and Seonghwa had gulped audibly. Their bandmate's chest fluttered with glee at the effect his words had. "Better yet, beg for it."_

He'd asked to be ignored a bit, at first, then used as a toy while San writhes underneath him, his long fingers fucking and stretching his hole gently, "Nng, full—" San cries out, nose scrunching up at the intensity of Seonghwa's thrusts. 

But Seonghwa doesn't talk — because he'd asked for something else as well, and Wooyoung had made him beg to the point where his eyes were brimming with tears before he finally slipped the headband into his mouth and tied it at the back of his neck. "You're gonna get fuller in a second, when I fuck my cock into you," _oh,_ and Wooyoung's voice sounds so mean and spiteful, both boys shiver at the intensity. 

It goes on like this for a while, and soon enough Seonghwa is swimming, everything sounding muffled around him. He doesn't have to think to push into the delicious, tight heat of San's hole, he just feels the warmth surrounding his fingers, how it clenches when he subconsciously curls them upwards and hits that spot that he knows his Sannie likes. There's so much spit in his mouth but he can't even think to slurp it back in and swallow, soaking the fabric of Wooyoung's favorite headband and letting the rest drip uninterrupted on San's tight stomach into a pool of spit. 

Wooyoung sits back and observes, fisting his cock lazily. 

"G-good, 'm good, 'm so s-stretched, please fuck me, Wooyoungie—" 

"Aren't hyung's fingers enough for you?" 

San shakes his head desperately, eyes rolling back when the three fingers inside of him curl again. Seonghwa huffs through the fabric but doesn't stop. His gaze focuses on the straining muscles of San's neck before it goes blurry and unfocused again. 

"Baby," Wooyoung says, and it takes Seonghwa more than a few seconds to realize he's referring to _him._ Slowly, he lifts his head, but even that feels like too much. His entire body feels so malleable and lax, like he's made of dough, "Take your fingers out and sit pretty for me. Can you do that?" 

With a mumbled moan of affirmation, Seonghwa carefully gets his fingers out (much to San's bratty sigh of disappointment) and lies on his side on the gym mat, knees and hands close to his chest — and simply breathes. 

He's floating, cock so hard and red and leaking but he pays it no mind, it's like the sight of Wooyoung grabbing San, folding his thighs in half and slipping into his hole without a warning is not affecting him at all; except it is, but he can be content sitting like this, just as he was ordered, watching the two of them fuck roughly, until someone pays him attention. 

It feels weirdly liberating. 

San's pleas for Wooyoung to fuck him harder sound scratchy in his throat. Seonghwa realized that San is feeling particularly mischievous today from the moment they arrived at dance practice; he kept on pushing Yunho and Mingi to the side with his extremely strong hips, sneaking a hand to slap their asses, tickle at Jongho's chin and pulling on Wooyoung's ponytail like a mic stand. 

Wooyoung tells him to _shut up and sit and take it in silence for once, you brat,_ holding onto San's legs and thrusting into him with a merciless rhythm. "If you— _ah, ah, f-fuck,_ if you want me to shut up so badly y-you should— _mff!"_ San melts when Wooyoung leans over, folding him in half as if he's nothing, and captures his lips into an open-mouthed kiss that's full of teeth and tongue and spit. 

They fuck for a while and Seonghwa keeps watching, cock twitching against his tummy, eyelids heavy that only flutter when San is jostled against his body by Wooyoung's thrusting.

"H-hyung…" when Seonghwa looks up, San's head is turned towards him, "Kiss?" he pleads, pinkish and pouty and Seonghwa doesn't even think before he dives in, headband be damned, clumsily kissing him until San cries out into his mouth, eyes widening at Wooyoung's cum filling him up. 

"Ah— fuck!" Wooyoung moans, hips stilling as he fucks his orgasm into San, fingers gripping his meaty thighs and head swinging back and forth erratically along with his long, wispy hair. "Sannie… oh, good, _good boy_ ," he coos when he sees the two of them attempt at kissing, "It's your hyung's turn to fuck you now." 

Seonghwa panics at first; he has been so lost inside his own fuzzy, cotton candy brain that he's forgotten what he's supposed to do. His tongue feels heavy in his mouth as he tries to explain, but Wooyoung is quick to catch up, as always. 

He maneuvers them so that Seonghwa's fitted in between San's open legs and Wooyoung is behind him, one arm around his torso, holding him in place, and the other helping him guide his cock into San's hole and — _oh,_ Seonghwa is going to pass out from how tight San is, even after getting railed like that. 

"Can't, I can't…" Seonghwa says, muffled. 

"I'm here, hyung." Wooyoung reassures him. He grabs his hipbones for leverage and settles his chin into the crevice of Seonghwa's neck. Pushing his softening cock against his hyung's back, their bodies grind together with fluid motions, so that Wooyoung sets the pace for how Seonghwa fucks San. 

One hand comes up to grab the knot of the headband near his nape like a leash and the other rests near his ass. 

And then Wooyoung starts making him fuck San with a bed-breaking pace. 

"H-hyung, _hyung!"_ San moans, one hand fisting his cock despite never asking permission from Wooyoung, but it doesn't matter because he's soon painting his hand and his tummy white with his cum and it feels so _good_ that San's lightheaded, mumbling Wooyoung and Seonghwa's names interchangeably like a mantra. 

"Sannie…" Wooyoung coos at him, expression fond and full of love. 

Seonghwa feels it when his eyes turn to him, even if all he can do is stare at San's blissful expression. He's still thrusting, chasing his orgasm, and Wooyoung reaches up to wrap his palm around his throat and squeeze at the sides, telling him that _he's good, he's been so, so good, and now he gets to come inside his Sannie, he gets to let go—_

Seonghwa sees stars when he comes, eyes filling with tears that finally spill down his cheeks in the most cathartic way possible. When he finally looks down, he sees San smiling at him and Wooyoung pressing kisses around his shoulder as he cleans the two of them up. 

They still have ten minutes to spare before their manager comes to pick them up, so they take this time to look as inconspicuous as possible, clean up and wait in the practice room. On the entire ride home, they squish themselves in the backseat and hold hands underneath their sweaters. 

Seonghwa begins playing with fire. 

It's not his fault — living with eight other people means that sometimes, his most private moments happen under the safety of his blanket in his bedroom with the lights out while everyone's asleep, with Hongjoong snoring on the bed right beneath his. 

He doesn't know how Wooyoung and San manage to sneak around so much; he suspects Yunho has something to do with that, meaning he's aware that the two of them (at least) fuck, and probably lets Wooyoung sneak into their room and pretends to fall asleep. 

Or maybe Yunho sits and watches, and _fuck_ — his brain is jumping from one thought to another, and he's supposed to be jerking off, but he can't really concentrate. He's been spoiled too much, always having Wooyoung gag him or occupy his mouth with other things so that Seonghwa can relax. _"Come to me whenever you need me, hyung,"_ Wooyoung had encouraged him this afternoon, but Seonghwa had politely declined, because he has an inkling that Hongjoong is starting to get suspicious with how often he's missing from their room right around bedtime. 

And this is what he gets for being cautious — fingering himself underneath the sheets and muffling his heavy breathing into his pillow, covering the fabric with spit. Their bunkbeds creak with the slightest movement, and even though his fingers are long, he wants to shift around so badly, maybe pull his thighs near his chest and expose his hole, or get on his knees and hump his pillow while he stuffs his fingers into him _in and out in and out in and out—_

God, what are the two of them doing right now? Is San taking it like a puppy while Yunho watches from his desk chair, hand fisting his cock? 

He's so desperate for anything at this point, someone to hold his head down and take over so that he doesn't have to think — 

_How lovely would Hongjoong's fingers feel in him right now._

Fuck, he can't do this right now, Hongjoong's right underneath him, probably asleep, tired from the responsibilities of being a leader. 

When the three of them fuck, Wooyoung always brings up Hongjoong. He loves to humiliate Seonghwa, remind him of what he truly yearns for and get him into subspace while imagining their leader standing in the corner of the room, witnessing him fall apart to Wooyoung's mean laugh and jarring slaps on his thighs. 

He moans out Hongjoong's name constantly, in between San and Wooyoung's, whether he's getting fucked, fucking someone or getting his cock sucked. The name leaves his lips involuntarily, and when everything's done and Wooyoung is diligently cleaning the cum from his torso, a wave of shame will crash onto him about how _needy_ he's being. 

He's thinking too much again, fingers mechanically getting in and out of his hole. With one last attempt, he slowly turns on his tummy and lifts his ass, trying to make as less noise as possible. 

His head is full of Hongjoong: reminiscing on the way his bandmate sneaks a hand around his waist if they take pictures, a gentle palm on the small of his back when they're getting ready in the morning, _a hand in his hair, face full of Hongjoong's cock, "Be a good boy for me and suck, that's it, Seonghwa, baby—"_

"—You okay?" 

Seonghwa's heart is at his throat. 

He can't move, his position rigid on his hands and knees, two fingers in his ass, breath caught in his chest and eyes bulging wide. 

"Seonghwa?" Hongjoong calls from underneath again. His voice sounds sleepy and unaware. "Are you asleep?" 

As silently as he can, Seonghwa settles on his tummy, shifting around with his blanket on top of him until it covers most of his face. He's sweating and breathing heavily, heart palpitating to an extreme degree, but he figures that if he pretends to be asleep Hongjoong will leave him alone and he won't have to deal with this. 

Eyes closed and desperately trying to stabilize his breathing, hair matted on his forehead because of the sweat, he hears Hongjoong get up from his bunkbed, "Ah, you're probably having a dream," he says. Then he gets out, probably to go to the bathroom. 

Seonghwa ends up coming with a few haphazard, dry strokes while Hongjoong's away, frustrated and ready to tear up for a completely different reason. 

"Here you go." 

The next morning, an iced Americano is placed on the desk in front of him. "Ah, Hongjoongie…" Seonghwa's chest fills with warmth. His eyes crinkle naturally when he smiles, but a gentle tap from their makeup artist reminds him to school his features into an indifferent expression. They're currently placing some iridescent peachy eyeshadow on his lower lash line, and he doesn't want them to mess up because of him. "Thank you so much." 

"I probably added less syrup than you wanted—" 

"'S okay!" Seonghwa says. He's glad at least that Hongjoong hasn't mentioned anything related to last night. Even so, he opts to stare at the plastic container instead of his bandmate. 

Silently, Hongjoong takes the coffee and brings the straw close to Seonghwa's lips, an expectant look in his eyes. All he can do is wrap his mouth around it and suck, a pleasant bittersweet taste on his tongue. "G-good," Seonghwa says, blush blooming on his cheeks that he hopes the cc cream can cover. 

Hongjoong bows silently and puts his air pods on with a satisfied grin, taking a seat next to him to get his hair styled. Through the mirror, Seonghwa sees Wooyoung looking at him with a mischievous grin. He goes the extra mile of pushing his tongue into his cheek repeatedly and Seonghwa has to avert his eyes so quickly that the makeup artist scolds him again. 

"You're torturing yourself," San tells him that same night as they wait in the car for the rest of the members to finish up in the communal showers of the studio so they can get home and pass out. Seonghwa silently munches on a snack, "Just tell him. Honestly. You have nothing to lose or feel bad for." 

"And tell him about us?" 

"I see no reason not to, unless you feel guilty for coming to us instead of him in the first place." 

"Never!" Seonghwa assures him. He reaches out to take San's hand in his hand, softly caressing it, "I wouldn't trade _this_ for the world," he says, squeezing, and they both know what he means. 

"Well, you deserve to have _this_ with Hongjoongie-hyung too. And if he's not into it, you can still come to us until he realizes what he's missing." 

"I— you're not a sex toy I can just use whenever I want." 

"I'd love to be of service nevertheless, hyung." 

"Stop being a tease." 

"It's one of my best qualities!" 

"Wooyoung's rubbing off on you," Seonghwa murmurs, struggling to get away from San's long limbs that try to wrap around him like a snake, "You didn't used to be so mischievous." 

"Oh _no,_ I've been corrupted, now let me sleep on your shoulder until we get home because I'm exhausted." 

"Are we not going to work out?" 

San leans into his neck, "Stop pushing yourself so much. Let's rest for a day, we're already on the move 24/7. Take some time to read a book or something, or jerk off, or better yet, _talk to hyung about your feelings."_

"You should rest too, y'know. Don't think I haven't realized that Yunho _knows._ I thought we weren't supposed to tell anyone!" 

"He caught us fucking on his bed!" San whisper-shouts. 

At that moment, Hongjoong enters the car and the two boys try to look as inconspicuous as possible. San leans into his ear, "I couldn't just… deny that we've been having sex. He said he was completely fine with it as long as we ask before using his bed. And then, one thing led to another— y'know how that stuff goes." 

Oh, Seonghwa knows. 

It's a quiet ride home tonight. Seonghwa rolls down the car window; there's a gentle breeze and a playlist full of soft and lo-fi songs playing through the speakers, lulling San and Yeosang to sleep. Hongjoong's in the front seat — the last one to get out of the showers — and he's awake as well, head settled on the windowsill like a puppy. 

Their eyes meet through the side mirror. Hongjoong stretches his hand behind his seat, blindly searching for Seonghwa's. 

Their fingers interlace tentatively — he gulps audibly, hopes he can't feel him trembling, "Tired?" 

"A bit." Hongjoong offers him a smile, "Are you too tired to stay up and watch something with me? I've been meaning to show you a new drama I discovered." 

He wants _that_ , too. "Never too tired for you." 

"I hope so," Hongjoong gives him a smile that makes Seonghwa feel a bit unsettled. Nevertheless, they hold hands for the remainder of the ride, with Hongjoong's thumb caressing his skin and squeezing whenever he hears Seonghwa mindlessly mumble the lyrics of the songs. 

The moment they get home, Seonghwa starts suspecting something. 

First of all, Hongjoong tells Jongho that "No, Hyung and I will not be watching anything tonight. We're going to sleep, which is something all of you should do, I'm looking at you two!" he calls out to San and Yunho, who run to their room and close the door behind them. Wooyoung follows them sheepishly and locks the door behind him, so that's the end of that. 

"The three of them are always hanging out lately," Jongho pouts, "I'm locking our door and Wooyoung can sleep in their room tonight for all I care." 

Seonghwa's ready to interject and repair the crumbling familial bonds caused by Wooyoung's horniness but Hongjoong takes his hand and drags him into their room, handing out hasty 'goodnights'. 

In the privacy of their room, the last thing Seonghwa expects is for Hongjoong to pin him up against the door. 

"Um, I lied. About watching a drama with you." 

"That's um, fine…" is all Seonghwa can say. His head is spinning, torn between melting against Hongjoong's soft body and holding onto the sides of the door, as if it'll collapse underneath him. "Hongjoongie…" 

Funny thing is, Hongjoong seems just as clueless as he is at the moment, "I— okay. I thought this through but now my brain's empty, so may I please kiss you— _mmff!"_

He can't stop himself from crashing his lips into his. He could _cry_ from how much he's longed for this feeling. 

"You taste just like I remember—" 

"P-please," a whine escapes from Seonghwa. Hongjoong's lips are velvety smooth, perfect mouth and perfect tongue with a sweet aftertaste from the latte he drank during practice. "Don't stop kissing me, m-more…" 

"You, _fuck_ …" Hongjoong's arms come around his waist, squeezing tightly and Seonghwa leans down so that Hongjoong doesn't stand on his tip-toes, "I heard you, last night, you, calling my name," he lets out in between kisses and soon they've stumbled to the bed, mattress creaking underneath them. "Should've, should've done something sooner—" 

"Jesus…" Seonghwa could _die_ from the embarrassment of that statement, but then he'd have to stop kissing Hongjoong, and that's a terrible thought. _"Mmf…"_

And Hongjoong's vocal when he kisses; moans keep getting caught in his throat whenever he takes a breath before diving back in, groaning exhales as Seonghwa squeezes his bottom lip between his own. The hands around his neck have a tight hold on him, squeezing his nape, the cool sensation of Hongjoong's rings giving him goosebumps. 

"Hongjoongie?" Seonghwa's barely able to open his eyes when his bandmate pushes gently on his chest, letting go of his lips. "It's okay. I want this, so, _so_ much." 

"I know that you're having sex with San and Wooyoung." He doesn't say anything else for a moment and Seonghwa's stomach drops. "Seonghwa, I-I have no issue with that. Just.. I thought that I wouldn't be able to have _this_ with you as well. And I hope you forgive me for going to Wooyoung instead of you first, but he seemed like the only person I could talk to about this. We spoke this morning about… everything. And he explained it all." 

Seonghwa allows himself a moment to take everything in. Hongjoong looks particularly small and curled into himself.

"How did Wooyoung, out of all people, end up being our sex counselor?" he sighs. 

A hysterical giggle bubbles from Hongjoong's throat, fluffy hair bouncing around. "So much for trusting him," Seonghwa continues with a fake pout, encouraged by Hongjoong loosening up, "No, I'm serious! First San, then me, then Yunho, now you…" Hongjoong's hands squeeze around the smallest part of his waist, blue fluffy hair tickling his chin, "H-how much did he tell you?" 

"Wanna sit down first?" he replies with a question, and leads them to his bed. Without a warning, he climbs on Seonghwa's lap. "So. I told him I heard you moaning my name while you were jerking off. Had an entire meltdown about us. He told me you three have been having sex for a while now, that I'm a huge idiot for not talking to you sooner—" 

"You are." 

"Seonghwa!" Hongjoong pouts like an injured puppy. 

"Just being honest…" he smiles. 

"He also told me that you like having things in your mouth and cry easily during sex." 

"I—" 

"Just being honest." 

A pair of palms push on his chest until Seonghwa's back falls flat against the sheets. Hongjoong's still on his lap, settled on his tummy with his muscular thighs on either side of him, caging him in. From the angle he's staring at him, Hongjoong's expression makes his brain short-circuit. 

"He told me that you didn't think you'd be what I want." 

He's definitely having a talk with Wooyoung about _boundaries_ and _confiding to your friends about your feelings in secret,_ but Hongjoong keeps talking, "'S my fault for making you think like that. I'm sorry…" 

"No, it's—" Seonghwa sighs. "We're both bad at this. Perhaps waiting an entire year to talk about this meant we weren't yet ready for it." 

Hongjoong looks at him with stars in his eyes, leaning on Seonghwa's words for comfort. They're both so, so stupid. How could he ever think he couldn't talk to Hongjoong about this, when he'd trust him with his life? When Hongjoong has leaned on him blindly, trust-falling through his exhaustion and his responsibilities into Seonghwa's embrace, offering his heart on a plate for him as if checking if Seonghwa would devour it or cherish it. 

In the silence of their room, they exchange these words in murmurs, tenderly caressing each other's skin as their clothes come off, until they're bare in front of each other with no where to hide. They kiss into the early morning hours, fingers dancing over Seonghwa's back in patterns and shapes that he'll never get to see, only feel, breathing in the flowery scent of Hongjoong's soft tufts of hair around his ears. 

"Comfortable?" Nod. "Good boy." 

Seonghwa's eyes roll to the back of his head, brows furrowed together as a small, hiccupy whine leaves his throat. He knows Hongjoong's eyes are fixed on him but he can't look or else what little shame there's left in him will disappear as well. So he opts for lazily staring around the room: the color-changing lights that Hongjoong installed in his studio a couple of months ago, adjusted to a soft purple hue for tonight. His keyboard and computer set-up in the corner across the couch that Hongjoong has so many times fallen asleep on, working on his music until he passes from the exhaustion, genius brain full of ideas. 

He's been ordered to sit on the same couch now, legs open and pulled towards his chest. There's a soft blanket between him and the leather, thrown with care so that he doesn't get cold; given that he's completely naked. 

Hongjoong keeps talking to him as he tidies up the room, sparing him a few glances now and then to check up on him — having the entirety of his studio to themselves so late at night gives them the comfortable privacy that Seonghwa's always longed for when he gets like this, when he can let himself be vulnerable and needy. Finally, after a couple of minutes, Hongjoong settles next to him, close enough to cup his cheeks in his palms and for their noses to touch. "You're already hard," he says, looking straight into Seonghwa's eyes. "Hard and leaking. It's hard to miss it, really. My baby has such a big cock." 

Seonghwa feels it twitch against his tummy. He gulps. 

"If you keep being quiet I'll have to gag you so that you have a reason to stay silent." 

" _Unf,_ Ho-hongjoongie—" 

"I know, you'd actually enjoy that, you _needy_ thing." Hongjoong takes off his trousers and underpants, until he's left in his t-shirt and cardigan. The fabrics are soft and reach his mid-thigh, and there's a tent around where his cock is hardening. "But I love it when you talk, Seonghwa." He gets on his front on the couch, so that his face is right in front of Seonghwa's blushing cock, "So you keep that mouth running." 

And Seonghwa's trembling with everything that comes rolling out of Hongjoong's mouth in his mellow voice, unable to get his eyes to look anywhere other than the shapes his lips form when they give life to his words. Of course, gagging him would make it too easy for him, they both know that. _"Sometimes, you're even more of a pillow princess than Sannie."_ Wooyoung had told him once. 

_"There's other ways I can make you fall apart."_ Hongjoong had said to him when Seonghwa had shyly offered to pack a tie for their overnight stay at the studio. They'd taken it with them anyways, but it is now wrapped snugly around his wrists, hands settled in front of his pecks. 

Hongjoong mouth feels warm and snug around his cock, wet tongue licking across its length and swirling around the tip. Seonghwa closes his eyes and begins talking just like Hongjoong ordered him to, cheeks feverish with how ashamed and exposed he feels. The words don't register in his brain before he lets them out, a string of nonsense about _how good Hongjoong's mouth feels, how embarrassed he is, how much he wants something in his mouth, please Hongjoong, something in his mouth or else he'll cry, so shameful—_

"Then how will I be able to kiss you, pretty boy?"

It's deliciously torturous, having his cock sucked while he's forced to keep talking, or else Hongjoong stops, "Knew you'd be a perfect slut for me," he's told when Hongjoong takes a breather and Seonghwa whines again at the loss. He's brought to the edge so many times, toes curling at the intensity, and yet that doesn't stop him from begging for more and more. 

Hongjoong truly takes his time with him, opening him up with his mouth and fingers in between soft kisses around his mouth and lips — Seonghwa's mind is a pleasant foggy dream, his rambling sounding distant and muffled to his own ears. But that doesn't stop Hongjoong from holding his jaw tenderly to coddle him, "My good boy, perfect for me, the best, so, so good. You take everything I give you so well, don't you, my baby? How do you want me?" 

Seonghwa's lips are formed into a near-constant, spit-covered pout and he looks at Hongjoong, fluttering his lashes in an attempt to concentrate at what he's being asked to answer. His tongue fills his mouth like cotton, he can't possibly make any coherent sounds, too far gone—

So he simply turns around on his front and holds onto the arm of the couch, arching his back and presenting himself. 

_"Seonghwa."_ Hongjoong breathes out in disbelief, and he can hear the grin on his lips. Somehow, his actual name makes his cock twitch even more than a pet name.

Hongjoong fits his smaller body over his, almost mounting him. He takes off the rest of his clothes and holds onto his hips as he slowly sinks his cock into him, all lubed up and ready. Seonghwa exhales shakily once Hongjoong's all the way in, and he feels him settle with his soft front against his back, mouth kissing over his shoulder. 

He fucks into him slow and hard, hips working in a steady pace, one hand holding onto his hip for leverage while the other is in Seonghwa's mouth for him to suck on his fingers, finally able to rest and get fucked dumb, just letting out broken, hiccupy moans, "F-fuck, ah, 's perfect," Hongjoong whines in his ear, "You like being fucked like this, on all fours?" 

"Gghh, s'much…" Seonghwa chokes out when Hongjoong pushes his fingers even deeper into his mouth, "L've it, J-joongie, keep, keep—" 

"So good, you're so good, Seonghwa baby, _oh_ …" Hongjoong giggles, "Crying for me already?" 

Seonghwa didn't even realize when it happened, but now there's fat tears rolling down his cheeks and wetting the blanket underneath him and it feels _amazing_ , being filled like this and fucked rough and deep by Hongjoong, who holds him in place and makes him feel like he's made up of ignited gasoline, "P-please," he sobs, mouth trembling. He's never felt so wanted and undone before; a thousand unknown eyes could never compare to the way Hongjoong holds him, nails digging into his skin that remind him how real and fragile he is. "C-can't, have to, can I—" 

"That's it, let go, my good boy, you've been so _good_ —" 

He comes so hard he almost chokes, tears falling freely down his cheeks, mouth biting on the blanket underneath him that does nothing to muffle how loudly he shouts while Hongjoong keeps fucking into him, both hands holding onto his sides until he spills into him with a high-pitched moan of his name that's the most beautiful thing Seonghwa has ever heard, he's sure of it, it's not just his hazy, fucked-out brain talking. 

Later, when he's all wrapped up in Hongjoong's cardigan over his pajamas and getting spoon-fed some late-night takeout, legs thrown over Hongjoong's lap, he listens to some demos for future songs, their still rough yet beautiful melody echoing softly throughout the room.

"You're so talented, Hongjoongie…" 

He knows Hongjoong's extremely shy when it comes to his music, and he was kind of hoping for him to shut off his laptop and jump on him to drown him with kisses. 

It kind of feels good getting what he wants, he thinks as Hongjoong's lips melt into a soft smooch against his. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, pls come find me on twitter and curious cat @milkytae12 !! i love talking uwu <3 
> 
> thank you so much for reading, and don't be shy to comment your thoughts! :3c

**Author's Note:**

> i'm on curious cat and twitter as @milkytae12 !!
> 
> pls feel free to come talk to me and share your thoughts about ateez, fics and everything in between~ ! 
> 
> again, kudos and comments are always so appreciated!! 
> 
> thank you so much for reading <3


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